My date with an astrologer

Confession time! Even though I don't "believe" in astrology, I am definitely curious about this business. I am one of those who love to read the 'Bombay Times' (now Delhi Times!)astrology section every day for fun and now out of habit and our dear old Mr Bejan Daruwalla's section every Sunday. Okay to cut the long story short, I really don't believe in them but I am very very curious to always know what's written and what's being spoken at the fortune teller's shop!

So when I came back to Delhi, one of my aunts couldn't stop praising this astrologer that she has been meeting. According to her, the astrologer had a proven track record in narrating her personality traits and her past, present and yes, even her future "afflictions". So I thought that this is the best time to make use of my dozens of free hours and ennui! I took my "horoscope" and then me and my aunt headed to meet the supreme power. These are the excerpts of the conversation:

Guruji (After looking at my horoscope for about 10-15 minutes): Have you hurt yourself lately?
Me: No
Guruji: Are you sure that you haven't hurt yourself recently?
Me: NO
Guruji: Ok. Then you might have a little accident in the near future. Nothing to worry about. You have rahu ki dasha on you. It generally lasts for about 16 years. But I assure you that you will be really happy post 2016
Me (in my thought bubble): WTF
Guruji continues the monologue: Your coming year will be really bad. Even after that some more years will be bad. But post 2016, everything will be ok.
Me (in my thought bubble) : Wow. I am so grateful
Aunt: Guruji,please tell her where will she be based in the near future. She has just shifted to Delhi for some time but she likes Mumbai.
Guruji: For some time, she will stay in Delhi and then she will move to Bombay
Aunt: When will she get a good job?
Guruji: She should keep trying. She will definitely get a good job. Its there in her kundali!
Me (couldn't control myself): Giggle
Aunt: Will she get married?
Guruji (after a long pause and an intense look at my horoscope): Yes, I am positive. She will get married.
Me (in a thought bubble): Wow. Revelation!!! I am relieved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There were more inane questions and more great revealing answers. But I guess, you get the picture...hehehe