Of lifts and escalators

The first time I ever took an escalator was in one of the malls in Gurgaon. I was in college that time. While my two friends easily stepped onto it like they were born to just hop onto elevators, I kept standing there just visualizing how easily I could trip or probably even get crushed somehow and die a slow painful death on that scary escalator. As I was getting all gory with my visual details, a security guard LITERALLY picked me up and planted me on the escalator's first step. It wasn't so bad after that. But even after years and years, it is truly an outlandish sight whenever I get onto an escalator. It is like one of those do or die situations for me when I hop onto it and get out of it. It is a like a mini-mission-accomplished moment and I really wish somebody knew what I went through during those few seconds and would give me a mini award for that. I am sure there are other weirdos like me.

About lifts. It is a different kind of phobia. It is basic claustrophobia. Most lifts are so tiny. Even if they are slightly bigger, a lot of people get into them. And then you experience a few seconds of extreme uncomfortableness. People don't smile at all, which makes the situation worse. Those who even know each other just avoid any conversations in the lifts, usually. Everyone keeps staring at the numbers which tell you how many more floors it would take for you to finally get rid of the mini-trauma. If you spot someone cute, you can't even check them out because lifts , like I said, are effing tiny. Whatever you see in those stupid films and TV commercials about subtle flirting with eyes and shit between a boy and girl is complete nonsense. That never happens in real life lifts. Lifts lack that character. If you are stuck with someone with a case of a BO, then you are doomed. It is smelly claustrophobia then. And if you are someone crazy like me and devil forbid, the lift ever gets stuck somewhere (It is a hypothetical adaptation of a true story) then you are fucked. It will take you many many days to use that monster again.

One thing I am not scared of is stairs. Plain and simple stairs. They shouldn't be spiral though. There should always be a railing next to the stairs. And it shouldn't be raining while you are climbing steps. In all these cases, you can trip on them. And you can trip real bad. You can even break your lovely bones. You can break your teeth. You can get a bump on your head. But in all normal circumstances, I do not have a phobia of stairs.