Aug 27, 2013

Anti- Manic Depressives

I recently was telling someone that it is hard to remember the last time I was this insanely almost peaceful and happy the way I have been since the last few months. Happiness can be very addictive. It is light and it has a sense of surreal calm about it. It feels sweet like a nap after a glass of wine in the afternoon. I have been having way too much fun with it. It wasn’t easy to get used to it initially. But once I did...oh man!

However, obviously, to say the least, this is life. Things constantly change for better or for worse and all that shit. Suddenly the road leading to some great anticipated adventure suddenly folds up or takes a sudden sharp turn and all that shit. It is easy (and I did for a bit) to get crushed. Unhappiness is always right around the corner, waiting for you to slip right in, feel miserable, recall all the crappy things that have ever happened to you since the moment you were born (Yeah, I am wired weirdly), curse all the men that inhabit this planet and all that shit. It sometimes makes me write better but now I have realised that I am now learning to write averagely well even without being depressed. Also, when I am unhappy, it is usually much more difficult for me to take decisions (I often end up using shampoo on my loofah and coffee in my tea which leads to a lot of practical wastage), to decide what to wear for work, to listen to other people, to look out of the taxi window and feel the wind and little snippets of life floating all around! And last but not the least, ALL the bad decisions in my life can be attributed to this little monster. And it is absolutely fatal when it mixes with alcohol.

So basically, I am on a mission. I cannot afford to be unhappy. It sounds like a sloppy philosophical statement, but I am not going on that road again. Even if it is hard work and requires a very rational process (I am watching a lot of Dexter and Alfred Hitchcock Presents these days to stay inspired), staying happy is fun. And totally worth it. I am not saying I am not slipping. Constantly.

Life has a weird way of punching you on your nose (mine sometimes literally does that by making me fall on my nose in my own house) but the idea is to just cry a little, get up, clean up and put on a band-aid and move fucking on.  

On another note, I think I will make a highly shady and questionable motivational speaker. 

Special mention on this post: My more than dearest friend, one of my soulmates and my anti-manic depressive machine-- Prinki (Priyanka Pereira). Only she will understand this reference. Rest of you, carry on and check out delicious semi-naked Don Draper (Jon Hamm) below. 

Aug 24, 2013

The Summer Man



On a roll.

There it was.

Between the wavy red cloth covered ceiling, reminiscent of the romance and pathos of a circus and a staid old fashioned chandelier. Between one beer and one cigarette. Between the table cloth with check prints, stuffed under a heavy glass and the music weirdly alternating between heavy jazz and hip hop, suddenly there it was. A feeling of being fully alive; life was jumping and dancing right in the pit of her stomach, running up her legs, arms and neck. It lasted just for a minute or two probably, but nevertheless there it was. 

Aug 6, 2013


There is something about transitions.
They remind me of you.
The in-between,
With no identity,
with no form to boast of.
Like when we met for the first time,
A moment born out of nothing,
And ever since.
Its ephemeral and fragile.
Its a bubble,
But only if you break it.
We have our own universes.
But this in-between,
Is where parts of us live,
The secret parts,

कच्ची सिलाई

कभी कभी ऐसा लगता है,
जैसे ज़िन्दगी को कच्ची सिलाई ने समेट रखा है.
आराम से उधेड़ बुन करो तो ,
हर रोज़ नयी सी बन जाती है.