Dear Blobfish,
They have no idea what they are talking about. They just wanted to use you as a mascot, without paying you any commission and that's why they thought it would be funny to call you the ugliest animal in the world. Plus whatever said and done, just forgive the Ugly Animal Preservation Society. They are actually kind of trying to do something good by trying to preserve your kind. Please ignore the silly method.
You just know how fucking cool you are. You are not grumpy. You are just a bit serious and thus you are always lost in thought, pondering over life's big questions. They will shut the hell up once they know the brilliant insights you have about the age old existential dilemmas. The late Mr. Samuel Beckett would have loved to chat with you and get inspired! I am not ruling out a possibility for coffee and conversation with the late Kafka too. If Murakami wasn't so obsessed with cats, he would be obsessed with you. You get the point right.
And please, you are so not lazy. You are just what they call 'chilled out'. I mean what are they even talking about. Your food walks upto you! Like, just how amazing is that!! You are almost divine man. Just try and not disappear.
And come on, you of all the animals know that this world is so transitory. Next year, the tag of world's ugliest animal will go to some other poor being. And I know you are too proud and intelligent to ever feel sorry for yourself. Enjoy all the publicity. Like they say, all publicity is good.
You just know how fucking cool you are. You are not grumpy. You are just a bit serious and thus you are always lost in thought, pondering over life's big questions. They will shut the hell up once they know the brilliant insights you have about the age old existential dilemmas. The late Mr. Samuel Beckett would have loved to chat with you and get inspired! I am not ruling out a possibility for coffee and conversation with the late Kafka too. If Murakami wasn't so obsessed with cats, he would be obsessed with you. You get the point right.
And please, you are so not lazy. You are just what they call 'chilled out'. I mean what are they even talking about. Your food walks upto you! Like, just how amazing is that!! You are almost divine man. Just try and not disappear.
And come on, you of all the animals know that this world is so transitory. Next year, the tag of world's ugliest animal will go to some other poor being. And I know you are too proud and intelligent to ever feel sorry for yourself. Enjoy all the publicity. Like they say, all publicity is good.
So stay cool man. Just stay cool
Lovingly yours,
Me
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