Confused now, are we?

Confused now, are we?
Losing things in our heads,
Getting lost in the lines,
Questioning the answers,
Walking the way backwards.

Start with the hangover,
End with a drink.
Twirling our minds in the smoke,

Lost now, are we?
Thinking about love,
Talking about false dreams.
The river keeps passing through the house,
We go to the desert and swim.

Keep hearing the name again and again,
Forgetting that it is the most common name.

Broken, are we?
False covers on the books we love,
Beautiful bizarre smiles on our faces.
We walk proud and lonely,
Holding hands while we can.

Weekend!

May be I am stating the most obvious but life is as interesting and boring as one wants it to be at any given time.

Since a really long time I have been thinking about writing something for my blog apart from the poems that is. Initially the plan was to write a satire on ‘Mumbai Cab Drivers’ but after losing the entire draft due to the death of my original C drive, I lost the drive and enthusiasm to rewrite it. Anyways, since I had not done anything inspiring or extraordinary in my life since last few weeks, there was nothing that I could come up with.

Anyways, after being depressed, disillusioned, de-motivated and blah blah blah since last few days, I decided to just take off to my best friend’s place towards the weekend (on Thursday to be precise). And it worked like magic. There were two unique experiences that I had during this stay which symbolically and literally made me realise a lot of things.

Well, to begin with I don’t know how to swim. But I “landed” myself into a pool on Thursday evening for two hours. The whole experience of two hours (walking and almost drowning) in the water was absolutely enchanting. I love water (I know it is high time I learn swimming!). It just made me traverse into an altogether new world!

The second experience was the dance classes that I joined today. After my almost banal existence of four years in Mumbai, I finally moved my ass (pun intended) to do something interesting and fun. When I was a kid, I would always fight with my dad because he used to take us only on imaginary holidays. He used to make full fledged plans, get us excited and then ultimately spend the entire holidays lazing around at home. Somewhere, quite conveniently, I have inculcated his terrible habit. I plan for really interesting things in life. If I ever write down the things that I have wanted to do in life and never done anything about them except in my imagination, it would reach the sky! Anyways, this experience was fabulous. Even though I can’t dance to save my life but just the music, the exercise, the new atmosphere, new people were more than enough to lift my spirits.

PS: Also saw Wolverine over the weekend. Have to say that I ain’t much impressed. The climax was super pathetic with all its clichés and not much action. Hugh Jackman was just alright! No big deal.

New City

It is almost like a start from the end of the lane
The dead end doesn’t open but takes me through it
I am wrapped in a bizarre quilt
Not feeling cold in the very cold land
The walls are freezing and they merge with me often.
I am dazed and yet at my best
Smiling at all that I come across
Awake nights after nights
Meeting the stars in the other land
Out of love, yet soaked in it
Making acquaintances, looking for my lover
Flashes of days passing in a jiffy
The new city seems apprehensive about me
The buildings collapse often
And the towers keep rising
Reaching an epitome of jammed clouds
Still floating and exploring the city

When it is gonna rain this time...

I would be floating in the sand.
Digging my feet deep into the water.

When it is gonna rain this time.
I would let the umbrella go upside down.
I would catch the first cloud that agrees to take me to the beach.
I would smile and smile and break the ice.

When it is gonna rain this time.
The girls would giggle to not get a penny.
The boys would hide with their black gloves lost.
The old woman neighbour might complain less.

When it is gonna rain this time.
I would be curled in a raindrop.
Sleeping tight.
No rainbow for me.
For I hate sunshine.

When it is gonna rain this time...

Stranger in the crowd

Stranger in the crowd,
Looking for my glass of wine,
Scurrying for a trip.
Looking through the door,
Watching the stray dog snooping around.
Music, dance, dungeon and obscure faces,
Smiling at the shallow walls of wood.
Mocking at moon’s passion.
Thinking about someone.
Thinking about no one.
All set to fall in love,
All set to be bonded in dreams.

Story that I just discovered!

I caught up with my very good old friend Priyanka after a long time. We celebrated with good food and cleared all the backlog of what happened in each other’s lives. When we were exhausted, we came back to our usual topic: who are you in touch with from XIC? One thread led to another and we landed up on an interesting story about a person called Gunraaj who studied with us. Gunraaj was in TV and video production course, while I and Priyanka were in advertising and journalism courses respectively. I had never noticed Gunraaj or spoke to him much. The only thing, frankly, that I had noticed was that he talked in a rather pansy way. Anyways, he was out of my circle of concern
Then during the convocation day, some of the films created by the TV/video prod students were nitpicked and showcased. One of the films that made us give almost a standing ovation was a film created by Gunraaj about trans-sexuality. That was the last I knew about Gunraaj.
The next I heard about him was now, after three years, from Priyanka. And the news was that Gunraaj is now Gazal. She is extremely beautiful and is one of the most happiest persons on earth because she listened to her subconscious voice, subvert the whole tangled mesh of norms created by “ society” and got a sex change operation done.
On the surface of it, obviously the most commendable thing is that Gazal accepted her sexuality and did what she had to, to get what she wanted. But what was inspiring for me was that all of us feel so obligated to society for what we are. Always thinking of what people are thinking about what we are, what we do. I wish we all had some part of the humungous courage that Gazal has of standing up for what we are, proudly, giving a fuck to whoever doesn’t want to understand.

Do read: http://gazalhopes.blogspot.com/

http://gazalhopes.blogspot.com/2008/10/last-mail-from-gunraj.html

Irregular Stream

An irregular stream of dreams is passing by,
The eyes are wide open and the world is in my arms.


There is someone somewhere looking at me,
I am not sure where I am.

Confined spaces, blocked tears,
There is a rather faint smile on the lips,
Someone in my dreams is feeling scared.

I politely dismiss the stream.
Walk in parallel.

Should I float in it?
Should I not?