Nothingness

I can have the privilege of calling myself ‘jobless’ these days. I like the term (so far). There is some kind of ‘return to innocence’ feeling in this state. I am kind of sandwiched between past and future work but I am still making the most of this present. I am discovering ‘nothingness’. For me, nothingness does not equate to being blank. That’s a state which is too ideal to be true. However, it is about (how Jim Morrison puts it) a state of travelling to subconscious.
Started with reading Shadow Lines again (for the sixth time now). I am reliving it in words, in pictures and in my imagination. What better way to start nothingness than reading ‘A place does not merely exist, that it has to be invented in one’s imagination’. ‘One could never know anything except through desire, real desire, which was not the same thing as greed o lust, a pure painful and primitive desire, a longing for everything that was not in oneself, a torment of the flesh, that carried one beyond the limits of one’s mind to other times and other places, and even, if one was lucky, to a place where there was no border between oneself and one’s image in the mirror.
Followed with a movie called ‘Coffee and Cigarettes’. Inane, open-ended and find-your-own-meaning conversations over, yes, coffee and cigarettes (well, most of them!). Amazingly beautiful overhead shots of the banal cups filled with stimulating coffee and an ash-tray filled with the butts of often claimed-to-be pacifier. I could feel nothingness throughout.
Followed with real conversation over real (and badly made) coffee. Good conversation though. Minus the cigarettes this time.
Walk through the bustling street. Lights and traffic whizzing past. Looking and yet not looking anywhere. Eyes on the blocks of foot-path. Counting a number of things and making patterns.
Sleep. Dreams. Forgettable good dreams.
Stumbled on a page on Charles Dickens. A question was once asked (to this effect): How do you create these characters? Charles: That’s a mystery unfathomable’.
More movies: Water Lilie. Journey into the psyches of two adolescent girls, grappling with their sexualities. A very well clicked picture of a complex subject. Disturbing and beautiful. Water becomes their freedom in the end.
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind: Puzzling till the end. Tribute to imagination. Wild imagination. Create-your-own-world imagination.
Nothingness is short-lived. Have work tomorrow. And I am excited as hell.

No more “silent” movies! Why?

A Mallu friend went to Matunga to buy some kickass Tamil and Mallu movies. While we rejected his idea of watching the original version of Bhool Bhulaiya, we decided to watch Pushpak, India’s first and only silent movie featuring Kamal Hassan.
I had seen the movie when I was young but fortunately I barely remembered anything about it. There began a riot; A non-stop fantastic riot.
It is a superb movie-a masterpiece. It is full of grey humour which is the classiest form of humour, according to me. Obviously the biggest highlight is that it is a silent movie which is beautifully adorned with fabulous sound effects and music. There are even some signature tunes assigned to various characters. The character of magician who makes the most effective use of his art of magic to fool his wife is fun. Hassan is obviously THE STAR of the movie. The drunk guy, beggar and Hassan’s girlfriend make a mark too.
Anyways, hats off to everyone who pulled this one. Making a silent movie which is super slick is just awesome. And I so wish one of our current age ‘indie’ directors try out something in this genre!
Here’s a small clip for those of you who still haven’t seen this one.

In love....with a thought

I am often tempted to look back
Walk through the glass doors again
Crack them as hard I can
I chuckle a bit at the thought
Lie curled between the spaces
It never happens twice they say
I laugh at them and at myself
There are no two suns
No two moons
I want stars which are in millions
I stir the thought a bit
Stretch it for all its limits
I fool myself that I want to break it
I walk listless and high
With the thought lurking in the sky
I wonder why I do this to myself
A great sunrise is by my bed
I toss and turn and lock myself in the night
The thought, at all times, by my side
I am not in love
Yet I have never been more in love
Yes, with the thought ofcourse!

Kaminey!

After a long lull, comes a storm. Doesn’t quite turn the world upside down, but makes you cling to whatever is next to you and you are definitely in awe of it for the time it lasts. This is how I experienced Kaminey.

One of my favourite director’s film was obviously much awaited by me and zillions of others. I knew this will be a slightly hatke affair from his other films and I was curious to see the treatment of the cliché by this humungous store of talent.

Enough has been said about the movie. It is by now almost universally acknowledged the treatment of the movie was brilliant with razor sharp editing. Not even one scene to sit back and relax. Priyanka Chopra stole focus in many scenes. Brilliant. Natural. Shahid worked hard on the “fpeech”. Pretty decent acting. Ofcourse the plot puzzle was well put together.

The only disappointing bit was the climax. It was just toooo predictable and boring and like my friend Ekta said, too Priyadarshan.

There could have been something there. The clichéd story could have been tuned on its head with the climax but that did not happen! Disappointing! But overall, crisp and intelligent!

“These are the professional wastrels we call poets, the ones whose job it is to go about wasting time, falling in love, not making it, drowning their sorrows, and all sorts of things that are not permitted in polite society-which is why polite society so dearly wants to hear about it.”
Omair Ahmad (Novelist)

Of rains, old Hyderabad and chatty cab drivers

I landed in Hyderabad on a sleepy Monday morning for an interesting work assignment. Was cranky as I had to get up at 4 a.m. Without trying to act too smart I settled for a prepaid taxi to my hotel in Banjara Hills. I was slowly sinking into my cushy seat and planning to take a quick power nap when my cabbie pointed out a bridge which had broken and caused a massive accident few months back. He made the story interesting by putting the element of how he had crossed the same bridge just ten minutes before the accident. After that he became my self-appointed guide and introduced me to different buildings, roads and even the malls that we crossed. Told me that when I have to go back to the airport, he will give me a discount of nothing less than Rs 100.

Green Park Hotel was where I was stationed for a day and a night. Had one hour before my first meeting, grabbed a quick bite and then off to work. Was free and exhausted at 6.30 pm. One of my very good friends tried to make few plans for where I could go. I was torn between exploring the city a bit or lazing around and watching TV in my room!

I first chose the latter. Spent half an hour in the room while it had started raining outside. Then felt really guilty of being so lazy. I asked my hotel to book a cab for me to nearby places including Birla Temple and Necklace road. It was raining incessantly when I reached the temple. Being impatient is another great virtue I possess. So I decided to explore the temple while it was raining. Beautiful marble temple with steps leading to its various subsections featuring various deities. Was drenched when I reached the top-most section (Apparently it had rained in Hyderabad after three four months and I felt like a rain goddess ;)). The view outside was spectacular. Seemed like I could see the whole of beautifully lit Hyderabad. While coming down, I saw the beautiful carvings on the marble wall which featured each scene from the Hanuman Chalisa. Nicely done.

Back in the hotel, the night involved cribbing to my friends in Mumbai about how I am staying ALL ALONE in a hotel room for the first time and weird few second power cuts to add to my misery.

Next half day was full of work. The people at my last meeting were extremely kind to have arranged a trip for me to the old Hyderabad for few hours before I had to catch my flight. Ashraf was my driver and travel guide for the old Hyderabad tour. He pointed out various interesting monuments, narrated their little stories, and trivia. We went past a palace built on a mountain, numerous mosques (some pretty dilapidated yet breathtaking beautiful), some white colour pretty building which was a museum. We then entered the narrow, teeming with people market, Pathargatti. Ashraf pointed out the carvings on each wall. It was all made of stone, thus the name Pathargatti, he said. It was a pretty colourful market, reminded me of Chandni Chowk. We then went past through the three building which lead to the fourth one- Charminar. Ashraf parked the car and helped me wade through the Lad Bazar (famous for its bangles, yes I did buy some), market located next to Charminar.

We headed back to the car and then to the swanky new Hyderabad airport whizzing past some more dilapidated structures on our way.

Don’t laugh so much

Don’t laugh so much, you’ll cry, someone said.
Walked all over it
The sudden urge to fly over the blazing sun was strong
I kept finding reasons
None matched my demeanour
Shapeless clouds were boats in my eyes
I kept wading through the air and its blue waves
There was nothing right and yet all was not wrong
Cloudy day, quite like the twilight
I went through the whole maze
Treading not too carefully
Often landed in a weird new land
My curiosity never had any end
Tasteless fruits I ate and got drunk on sea
The day went on and on like my heart

Then when left alone to ponder in the night
I broke down
Desperately looking for chaos and moon
Found myself in a very small house
The windows were jammed and locked
It felt like purgatory
I got restless and scared
Filled all the moonlight I could get through the curtains
Saved a tear drop
Got drunk on the loneliness